Do You Join Groups of Other Expats from Your Home Country?

Hey all,

I was wondering how many folks here join "expat" communities and hang out with others from their homelands?

When I originally moved from Canada to London in 2008, I intentionally avoided most anything that was "expat" Canadian (save for Canada Day at the Maple Leaf in Covent Garden). I figured I didn't move all the way across the ocean just to hang out with Canadians. I figured I would try and make friends with either the English people here, or international (non-Canadian) immigrants to England like me.

I still don't hang out much with other expat Canadians, though did enjoy a few recent trips down to a pub owned by a Canadian to watch our Olympic Ice Hockey Team in action.

However, I am finding myself back on the job hunt, and thinking about joining up with a Canadian networking group to try and extend the reach of my network.

This got me thinking about expat communities. Is the fact that my move was a deliberate choice (rather than being a "forced" move) part of the reason I have shunned expat groups to now? Will a continued presence abroad change the way I feel about expat groups?

Are you a member of an expat community with other people from your home country? If so, why did you choose to join? What benefits do you get from joining the group? Is there a downside that you see?

For those that haven't joined an expat community - what is your reasoning?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Matthew Lubin on March 9, 2010 at 12:17pm

I hung out with a lot of expats from my home country mostly because of the language barrier. But I also made local friends and expat friends from other countries. I wasn't friends with them because they were from my home country or because they spoke English, but because they were friendly.

And in some cases joining expat groups and community events can help you find better jobs--I found a great one through a friend I met at an expat event.

Permalink Reply by Jan Polatschek on March 9, 2010 at 8:15pm

Hi Greg,

I have lived in Bangkok for four years. I am retired. I am an American, originally from New York.

I suppose I have been associated with three ex-pat groups.

The members of one professional group were not friendly so after a few meetings I dropped out.

Two others have been rewarding.

One is a synagogue group. In fact I had dinner with a small group last night. We meet monthly, each time at a different inernational restaurant, just for fun and to exchange "stories." We are all enthusiastic travelers. BTW, I do go to synagogue services on occasion. The Rabbi is from Australia; he is welcoming, warm and brilliant. And the service is always followed by a joyous meal for all the congregants.

Another group is a network of educators. I am a retired "educator" so I attend monthly meetings. They have guest speakers and a very friendly amosphere. I met one of my best friends at this group. He is from South Africa. And yes, for those interested, there is a lot of networking and passing around of business cards.

The big factor for me is that group members come from, or have lived in many different countries: England, South Africa, Australia, France, Romania, Egypt, Israel, Afghanistan, India, Thailand and several areas of North America. I enjoy the international atmosphere.

The only time I am "Amercian" is when I attend the annual July 4 celebration sponsored by the US Embassy and when I have Thanksgiving dinner at a local restaurant. So, once a year I enjoy a hot dog and once a year, sliced turkey and pecan pie.

It never occurred to me to look for a group exclusively from the USA.

Bangkok is truly an international city. That's a big reason why I chose to live here. And if I meet someone I like, their country of origin is of no consequence to me. Although, I must admit, it is a joy to have a conversation using fluent, colloquial English from time to time.

Cheers,

Jan

For my recent adventures: www.travelwithjan.com

Permalink Reply by bearshapedsphere on March 22, 2010 at 7:05pm

Not really. I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea, but there is little if any language barrier at this point (I live in Chile, have been here for coming up on six years and seldom come up short for words these days), and I actually really like my Chilean friends. I have some American friends who are friend because they're great people, not because they're American.

I think if I were more business-minded or lived where my-aged expats tended to live, or was following the regular American life path (married, kids, house, etc), I might be more inclined to get to know people. There are three groups I have gone to in person, one because I liked the topic of the day (Astronomy in Chile), one because there was a book sale, and one just on a lark. I post on an expat board, because I get and share handy info that way, but mainly the other Americans I know are either people I've worked with at some point or folks I've met through my blog.

Maybe it would be different if I didn't like living in Chile, or Chileans, or if I didn't speak Spanish, or something else. But for now, the answer would be mainly: nope!

Eileen

www.bearshapedsphere.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by Karen van der Zee on April 13, 2010 at 5:07pm

I've lived for extended periods in foreign countries (Ghana and Armenia, to name the last two) and usually fall easily in with some sort of international group of expats, which is great for getting information about settling in and where to go and what to do and so on.

That said, I make it a point to try and get to know the locals. We always live in a normal local neighborhood, and not in some sort of expat enclave with fancy houses.

I end up with a comfortable mix of friends and acquaintances, and yes, some are from my home country.

Karen / Miss Footloose
www.lifeintheexpatlane.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by Nancie M on April 20, 2010 at 5:21pm

Hi Greg...................

My personal philosophy is that people are people and their nationality is not important.

Among expats here in Korea the favorite question is "How many Korean friends do you have?" That totally turns me deaf to the person answering the question.

The people I'm friendly with at the moment come from a variety of countries and backgrounds.

Permalink Reply by Balanced Melting Pot on June 8, 2010 at 8:46pm

For some strange reason, I ended up joining the French expat group in Caracas as opposed to the English-speaking one. It was sort of haphazard (based on where the kids are going to school) and I don't think there is much difference among them. Basically, they consist of the accompanying spouses (mostly unemployed) of the expat community. They meet regularly for social gatherings, fundraisers, etc.

I think these groups are important for people who have a hard time getting out there and meeting new people. I don't expect to gain any professional resources, because most of them are here for a shorter time than me. Since I do have a language barrier with Spanish, this group has helped me get settled in terms of finding doctors, recommending certain services and directing me when I'm lost. Other than that, I can't wait to form relationships with Venezuelans - that's when I think my experience will get interesting...

Permalink Reply by Meagan Arnold on July 14, 2010 at 8:48pm

Hey!
I am living an working in South Korea and I chose not to join an expat group. I prefer to make friends and forge friendships organically if possible, for one thing, and the other reason is that when I live in a different country I want to immerse myself in the culture, and the people. Living in a foreign country where the language is not your own is difficult, and I think in those situations avoiding "anything expat" would be terribly isolating and lonely. But I find far too many expats in Korea (in my experience) stray too far into the expat scene and find themselves drinking every weekend and not experiencing all of the beauty this country has to offer. I think it's easy to get lost in a similar routine to what they may have had in their home country's of drinking and not exploring their environment. I haven't joined that expat community because I prefer to spend my time travelling around the country, but I can definitely see why it's an easy trap to fall into. Being abroad, especially in a country where you truly stand out as an alien, can be very lonely at times, and going to western bars every weekend enables you to make a lot of foreign friends, which clearly is a great thing to have if you ever feel lonely.

Either way it's all a personal choice.

Permalink Reply by Lois on August 12, 2010 at 11:53am

Hi Greg

Like you, I moved from Canada to London (via a year in Grimsby, Lincs) but I did it many years ago when there wasn't an easy way to find other ex-pat Canadians (since we haven't colonised particular areas in London as many nationalities do). I've always had lots of Canadian visitors since moving to London and it is fun to chat to people from a similar rural Canadian background sometimes. One advantage of living in such an international city as London is that many of the friends you make may have come from 'somewhere else' too and you have a connection because that. Close friends in my neighbourhood came from Sri Lanka, Australia, Kenya, Iran, Zimbabwe - but quite a few Brits too!

The only Canadian club I do belong to is the Canada House Cine Club which shows films with a Canadian connection (many quirky ones) once a month in a great little cinema room. If you're missing Canadian content, do check it out!

Permalink Reply by IEatMyPigeon on August 13, 2010 at 3:24am

It's depended highly on the situation. I'm on my third international move - 2007-2009, Japan; 2009-2010, Ireland, 2010-onward, Italy. In Japan, I was working for an English school, so I was surrounded by other native-English speakers. Furthermore, I didn't seem to really "click" with my Japanese coworkers until much later into my stay so for the most part, I hung around with other "gaijin."

In Ireland, I was getting my master's. I went there with a friend, an Irishman, and hung out mostly with his friends - also Irish.

And now, in Italy, I'm living in a town where I'm the only native English speaker so everyone I'm spending time with is a native. Which is cool by me.

There are upsides and downsides to both types of friendships - in Japan, hanging with other first-timers like myself was fun because we provided language oases for each other as we were learning Japanese. But hanging with locals, you truly do get a richer, more authentic experience....

Permalink Reply by Cathy Dobson on August 17, 2010 at 2:26pm

I definitely try to spend most of my time with the locals. I'm a Brit living in Germany, but most of my friends are German here. I got to know a lot of them through my kids going to the local schools or playing in local sports teams. But I also got to know a lot through work.

It would be a shame to live in a country and spend most of the time with ex-pats.

Permalink Reply by Kerry-Ann on August 22, 2010 at 7:46pm

It never occured to us to join expat communities. We have lived in four different countries - all of them till now have been English speaking. When we left South Africa we wanted to meet other cultures, learn about them and experience their way of life. It is true that in most of the countries we have lived we have ended up mixing with international people more than locals. Having a transient lifestyle I think it is harder to settle down and build trust with locals - where as travellers, movers and foreigners understand a lot more what is going on and more used to hellos and goodbyes. Even I won't purposely go out looking for South Africans or British people. If I meet them and I get a long with them - that is cool! I have seen too many foreigners arrive find an expat group and never grow. They don't experience the life that the new country offers. I don't know how to explain it - it just doesn't appeal to me. I would rather be friends with 12 different nationalities then be friends with only 1 or 2 nationalities.

Permalink Reply by Nancie M on August 22, 2010 at 7:58pm

Kerry-Ann................I agree with you 100%. People are people, and nationality is only part of who we are.