Jamie Barr's Blog – June 2011 Archive (3)

India part 1 - Hindi Die Hard Edition

I just haven't had time to post anything since Israel, but as I say about my period, better late than never.

If I was to read directions to my hotel in downtown Delhi, in which ive just arrived at 6am, it would read:

Drive recklessly for twenty minutes, take a right at the skeletal cow, go straight past the family of 24 sleeping on the pavement, carry on until you meet a dog with twelve huge tits, go left at the corner with the street that is made up entirely of rubbish, piss…

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Added by Jamie Barr on June 28, 2011 at 1:00am — No Comments

INDIA part 2: INDIA HARDER

Lack of appetite! Nausea! Vomiting! Fatigue or weakness! Dizziness or lightheadedness! Insomnia! Pins and needles! Shortness of breath! Nosebleed! Drowsiness! General malaise! Peripheral edema! Diarrhea!

To which my reply is usually, "Ok, then can we cuddle instead?"

Coincidentally it turns out, these are all symptoms of altitude sickness. Delhi was seventeen hours behind me and the first thing you notice is doing the smallest bit of exercise takes so much more effort than…

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Added by Jamie Barr on June 15, 2011 at 1:00am — No Comments

HOLY SHIT: Israel and Palestine - Kosher Dog edition

Im now nothing more than a defeated fleshy husk for a nightmarish jobbie helterskelter ride. I had been eating alot of fruit in Jordan to save money and its come back to haunt me. It turns out my digestive system is frighteningly efficient when it wants to be.

Anyway, before I left Jordan, I had the following exchange with a guy in a shop:

"Where are you from?"

"Scotland."

"Ah, Scotlanda! Like the Mel Gibson, eh?"

"Um..."

"Mel Gibson good, he hate the…

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Added by Jamie Barr on June 1, 2011 at 1:00am — No Comments