15 Reasons Why: It's the Flight Attendants fault that...

So I got a little bored on my last 4 day trip and started taking note of things people blamed the crew for even though it was their own ignorance or stupidity. Not all of the following happened in the last 4 days, but they have all happened to me in my career.

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15 Reasons Why: It’s the Flight Attendant’s fault that…

…you went under the velvet rope in a dual gate area during boarding, got on the wrong plane, didn’t bother to listen to the flight attendant’s PAs (that were made every 5 minutes) and ended up in New York’s JFK not Seattle. (true story of mine!)

…they don’t have a fork for your salad that you bought in the terminal, since they should always have a supply of extra utensils on them for your use.

…you must wait in line, like everyone else, to use the lav – because they can’t issue you a “move to the front of the line free” card.

…you didn’t board with your group/zone and there is no overhead bin space left since they personally made you go to Starbucks first.

…a screaming child is seated in front of you, since the flight attendant assigned EVERYONE’S seats!

…you’re on a strict diet and the airline isn’t selling food you can eat, the FAs should have called each passenger the night before to ensure you were able to eat something the airline provided.

…there is an Air Traffic Control hold on all departures/arrivals and you’re delayed 2 hours, and apparently, I guess, the flight attendants are not delayed with you (and NOT getting paid!)

…you were sleeping through the beverage service and didn’t get a drink on the 45 minute flight from LAX to SFO, because you WOULDN’T have gotten mad if they woke you up to hand you a coke.

…they don’t have psychic abilities to tell you the gate and status of your connection while at 35,000ft with you, because they can just call the ground on the cell phone you’re not allowed to use. (neither are we!)

…they don’t have lemonade, pineapple juice, guava juice, or carrot juice to offer you since they decide what products are carried on board, personally.

…after checking in 2 hours ago, and just boarding the airplane you just NOW noticed you’re in a middle seat but you “need a window or an aisle because you just had back surgery..” and there are none left and but they should make someone move because you neglected to take care of yourself first.

…they don’t have spare pen’s for you to use, because much like the spare eating utensils, they should always have a supply.

…there is no closet on board to hang your Armani suit and it has to go into the overhead with everyone elses bags, yes, even if you’re in first class, you bought a seat not a cargo plane.

…no matter how many times you asked to go to the bathroom when the seat belt sign was on, they said no, since the FAA permits them to break aviation regulations just for you and nobody else.

…they hit your elbow and foot with the cart while going down the aisle, even though they made an announcement saying they were passing through and to clear the aisle.

BONUS! “It’s the Airline’s fault that…”

…you overslept and when you got to the gate the flight was closed and you were not allowed on.

…you checked in only 45 minutes before your flight, though your tickets say to check in 2 hours prior, and the TSA security line was so long you missed your flight

…you purchased your tickets on a website OTHER THAN the official Airline’s website and they assigned you a middle seat that doesn’t recline.

…you booked the wrong date on your reservaton, though seemed to have missed it through the 15 step reservation process and now there’s a $100 change fee.