Are You Living the Life You Want?
Travel seems like the universal dream; something that nearly everyone wants more of. We regularly get a lot of questions about our travel adventures. Beyond questions about where we’ve been and where we’re going, people always seem to be even more curious about the details of how we constructed our current reality.
We call it a “no vacation required” lifestyle because we strive to live deliberately every day. For us that means a life where we can explore the world, work virtually and give back along the way. One of our primary goals is to inspire people to build there own version of a no vacation required life. Along the way, we’re in turn inspired by people who want to break the mold.
We’ve written about our friend, Cat, before, but it’s a good time to revisit her story. A while back, we chatted with Cat over coffee because she had learned – from a mutual friend – that we had made some major life changes. She’d heard that it had all started when we’d decided to take several months off from life-as-we-knew-it in order to visit Africa and to do some volunteering and exploring in South America.
Figure out what’s really important to you.
As it turns out, Cat has been longing to do something similar to what we did. Ten years into a career, she has had the time to sort out her values in the process of figuring out what really matters to her. She knows one thing for sure, she wants to break away from her routine in order to lean into her desire to do something altruistic. More specifically, she wants to volunteer for several months in South America to gain a new perspective and to do something that contributes to a better world. Sounds familiar.
Talking to Cat, we learned a lot about her primary concerns. Here are the biggies: For starters, she is terrified to walk away – even if only for a few months – from her promising career. She has the “what will I come home to” jitters. Also, she has no idea where to begin from a planning perspective. Add to that the fact that she is surrounded by people who are telling her that she is crazy – people who are saying that only early twenty-somethings (and life-long slackers) do that sort of thing. In addition to letting her know that she’s hanging around with the wrong people, we had a lot to share.
People will say you are nuts. Find new people.
To be honest, we went through much the same process. 80% of people suggested we were out of our minds for not wanting to subscribe to the notion of a cookie-cutter life. We connect with a lot of people who share Cat’s dilemma. People who want to do things a bit differently, but who don’t know quite where to start. Does this sound at all like you?
First off, a dose of armchair psychology. Don’t let anyone tell you how to define your goals or your success. If you want to do something off the beaten path, you may not find a lot of people who stand up and clap. Cat, who is in her early thirties, is a manager with a software company. As you’d expect, her circle includes similarly employed people and a family with high expectations. You can imagine how it went when, one day at happy hour, she said “I’m thinking I want to hit the road for about a year to do some volunteering in South America. What do you all think?!” She laughs about it now but says that the silence she encountered was brutal.
Thus the coffee date with us, her new de-facto cheerleaders. She needed to surround herself with people who would provide support.
Make a plan and find inspiration.
The point is pretty obvious. Live your own life. Be brave (but not irresponsible). Lean into a bit of uncertainty, and you might just be blown away by how things end up. Some friends/family might be jealous, angry and judgmental. They’ll get over it.
Don’t let the details overwhelm you. Take a first step towards figuring out what you want out of life. What do you have a passion for? What do you envision for your future? This can be a tough process, so connect with people who can provide the inspiration that you need.
What’s your version of a “no vacation required” life? Do you need some cheerleaders to help get you there?
We call it a “no vacation required” lifestyle because we strive to live deliberately every day. For us that means a life where we can explore the world, work virtually and give back along the way. One of our primary goals is to inspire people to build there own version of a no vacation required life. Along the way, we’re in turn inspired by people who want to break the mold.
We’ve written about our friend, Cat, before, but it’s a good time to revisit her story. A while back, we chatted with Cat over coffee because she had learned – from a mutual friend – that we had made some major life changes. She’d heard that it had all started when we’d decided to take several months off from life-as-we-knew-it in order to visit Africa and to do some volunteering and exploring in South America.
Figure out what’s really important to you.
As it turns out, Cat has been longing to do something similar to what we did. Ten years into a career, she has had the time to sort out her values in the process of figuring out what really matters to her. She knows one thing for sure, she wants to break away from her routine in order to lean into her desire to do something altruistic. More specifically, she wants to volunteer for several months in South America to gain a new perspective and to do something that contributes to a better world. Sounds familiar.
Talking to Cat, we learned a lot about her primary concerns. Here are the biggies: For starters, she is terrified to walk away – even if only for a few months – from her promising career. She has the “what will I come home to” jitters. Also, she has no idea where to begin from a planning perspective. Add to that the fact that she is surrounded by people who are telling her that she is crazy – people who are saying that only early twenty-somethings (and life-long slackers) do that sort of thing. In addition to letting her know that she’s hanging around with the wrong people, we had a lot to share.
People will say you are nuts. Find new people.
To be honest, we went through much the same process. 80% of people suggested we were out of our minds for not wanting to subscribe to the notion of a cookie-cutter life. We connect with a lot of people who share Cat’s dilemma. People who want to do things a bit differently, but who don’t know quite where to start. Does this sound at all like you?
First off, a dose of armchair psychology. Don’t let anyone tell you how to define your goals or your success. If you want to do something off the beaten path, you may not find a lot of people who stand up and clap. Cat, who is in her early thirties, is a manager with a software company. As you’d expect, her circle includes similarly employed people and a family with high expectations. You can imagine how it went when, one day at happy hour, she said “I’m thinking I want to hit the road for about a year to do some volunteering in South America. What do you all think?!” She laughs about it now but says that the silence she encountered was brutal.
Thus the coffee date with us, her new de-facto cheerleaders. She needed to surround herself with people who would provide support.
Make a plan and find inspiration.
The point is pretty obvious. Live your own life. Be brave (but not irresponsible). Lean into a bit of uncertainty, and you might just be blown away by how things end up. Some friends/family might be jealous, angry and judgmental. They’ll get over it.
Don’t let the details overwhelm you. Take a first step towards figuring out what you want out of life. What do you have a passion for? What do you envision for your future? This can be a tough process, so connect with people who can provide the inspiration that you need.
What’s your version of a “no vacation required” life? Do you need some cheerleaders to help get you there?
Views: 154
Comment
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Comment by Brent Kubbernus on November 18, 2010 at 11:46pm -
perfect article for me thank you guys so much, ive been really questioning the "cookie cutter life" and think that that lifestyle isnt for me. so im goin on my first journey to find my way, to learn from my new adventures. i have a few resouces and opportunitys that came up at this time in my life that i need to take advantage of. ive never traveled far from home, i just got my passport like a week ago. i have really no fears of having to come back home or of what mite happen on my trip. i have been planing this now for a number of months. i have family and friends who have been very supportive and really have zero negitivity towards my dreams and ideas. ive always been a creative person and have not been able to tap into my creative side enough over the past 6-7 years, therefore considering new careers idea that can utilize me creative side. Hence why i joined the TBEX and plan on writing a personal memoir on my travels and also have a bit of a perspective blog about my adventure to really find myself and experiance life to its fullest. i feel like journalism is a way for me to be creative and have the life experiances i long for. finding out that here are many who live the life i crave and knowing theres others that have made it a realistic lifestyle, inspire me to try everything i can to make it a reality for me. so thank you again and any advise
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Comment by No Vacation Required on October 24, 2010 at 2:23pm -
Jim - We'll check out your website. I like what you say about having more than 5 senses. Very true.
Nancie - I think it's more about living the life you want. The example detailed in the post happens to be about travel (because that's what we're interested in).
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Comment by Nancie M on October 24, 2010 at 6:44am -
Not everyone want to travel, and even more don't want to travel full-time. People have a variety of interests. For some people, a stable job watching there kids grow up and eventually having grandchildren is what they want. As travelers we should not assume that EVERYONE wants to travel. Everyone does NOT WANT TO TRAVEL. Thank god for that.
I don't want to travel full-time. I am quite happy being on the road five months out of twelve. The other 30 weeks I spend teaching at a university.....12 hours a week. That is not a hardship.
There are a lot more travelers today then when I started back in 1967. Yes, my first trip was to Expo'67 in Montreal. However, just because our numbers have increased does not meant that EVERYONE is just dying to travel.
Many of the travelers we see right now filling the "airwaves" with their travel blogs will probably sooner rather than later end up settling somewhere. Good chance that their blogs will become part of history.
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Comment by Jim McIntosh on October 20, 2010 at 2:26pm
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"...listening to the brain and not the heart."
I attempted to start a conversation on this subject over here-http://holesinmysoles.blogspot.com/2010/10/analytical-versus-intuit...
as in my experience it has been the key to a very succesful life with jobs we both enjoy, own small business and extensive travel. And in recent years a heightened sense of perception leading me into some weird but enjoyable experiences.I now don't believe we have just 5 senses.We have others and our intuition (heart if you like) is an ability most of us have and it could be used more if we remove our inhibitions that shackle it.Maybe I should blog about that.
Most of us( meaning excluding TBX'ers LOL) will not break out of the box because of fear. Understanding that fear, is the first step out of the box. That's why I admire travellers because they have faced up to that fear.
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Comment by Connie Hum on October 20, 2010 at 11:47am -
Great post! I think everyone should strive to live their lives "deliberately" each day, NOT just during travels. Thanks for reminding people that life is WONDERFUL, no matter the location!
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Comment by No Vacation Required on October 20, 2010 at 9:24am
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@Karen - I love "We all live in a prison of our own making." Brilliant!
@Sandra - What an intriguing journey you've had and what an interesting turn of events for the teachers back in California. It seems that so many people attach security to anything but their own dreams. Weird.
@Jim - Great point. I think people do a lot of listening to the brain and not the heart.
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Comment by Karen van der Zee on October 20, 2010 at 9:04am -
You did a lot of people a favor by writing about this issue of breaking out of the mold. Following your bliss is wonderful, but the path may not be shared by your family and friends.
I hail from the Netherlands and have lived most of my adult life in foreign countries. Friends and family of course thought I was nuts when I first I took off for Africa to marry my American mate. They called me nuts every time I (we) set off again to another place (like Palestine), but when that didn't deter me (us) they often asked: "But what if you don't like it over there?" To which I forever said: Planes go both ways.
I'm sure that once you are settled in a normal life in your own environment it becomes increasingly difficult to break out. We all live in a prison of our own making. Broadening your comfort zones is never easy, but it's, well, liberating.
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Comment by Sandra Kennedy on October 19, 2010 at 5:22pm -
I absolutely love this article! Go! Follow your passion! The people who seem happiest are the ones who fulfill their heart's desire. Many years ago, after my first trip to Europe. My life changed. I viewed new cultures and countries. I decided that I must go back and teach in Europe. Everyone around me thought I was crazy. You will never find a teaching job again and so on. Well, I ended up in Peru teaching at an American International School After that, Portugal for 3-years and Paris for 4-years. Ironically, I found out later that the teachers of the California school where I taught before heading to Peru, had lost their jobs anyway. Look around you at all the leaden-eyed people who have never questioned their lives nor dared to dream and follow that vision. The world is out there...follow your dream.
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"I actually reckon that everyone who writes here has stepped outside of the box? " Great observation John.
So have we all ?
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Comment by John Reese on October 18, 2010 at 8:05pm -
I actually reckon that everyone who writes here has stepped outside of the box? My son is presently setting up a GAP type scheme in Bombay for all age groups involving elements such as charity work, school help, special tuition for slum kids, cooking, sport, so if Cat was wanting to go there he could immediately set her up on the right path? I mention this in case someone else is in a similar position as your friend Cat.
Only you can make the decisions - you must find your formula to life - people can help you get there, but can't tell you where to go to find it.
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